Everybody Bleeds

Call me morbid, but I seem to have found a good way to remind myself that the people I pass by daily are real people with real lives. They bleed.

I have a real problem with thinking of others as people with lives and families and such as that. Sometimes I don’t even see them. It’s like they don’t exist. It’s like they’re just figments that happen to be in my way from time to time. It’s my world, they’re just living in it! But that’s not true.

They have just as many joys and sorrows as I do. They go home at night, say hello to their family, eat supper, crawl into bed, wake up, and do the whole thing over again. When they’re hurt, they bleed. And bleeding is a serious thing. You have to have that stuff to live. Which I suppose is why it makes such an impact on me to look at someone and say ‘He bleeds’. By saying he bleeds, I say he has blood, and therefore is alive.

People are so much more real when I say that. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned that twenty times now, but they are. And it helps me to be kinder to them, and more understanding. It’s almost like a new connection is formed, and I feel closer to complete strangers. When you get down to the basics, I’m no different from anyone else. We all bleed.

Flesh and Blood brings on a new meaning suddenly. It’s commonly used to refer to your kinfolk right? Children, parents, yadda yadda. But aren’t we all flesh and blood of each other? Adam is our common father after all. We may look different and act different, but in the end we’re all brothers and sisters.

How’s that for a macabre post?

Italy

So! Italy was great. I had lots and lots of fun and had some great experiences. I even got to see the Pope (from about 100 yards away) when we went to the Vatican. He gave a speech. I think it was like, a sermon summary or something. But it was fun!

The ear infection thing had cleared up a lot by the time I got on the plane and nothing went wrong at all. (:

Yaaay fun.

Ear Infection + Flying

Ok. Here’s the deal. I have an ear infection. It was present on Thursday. I got medicine on Friday. I took a dose Friday night. A dose Saturday morning and night. And a dose today and tonight. That’s five doses of antibiotics. I’ll take another tomorrow morning. My ear feels better. Though it’s still stuffy. And it rang earlier, and is right now.

I’m getting on a plane tomorrow. I’ll be flying to Atlanta, that’s about an hour and a half trip. Then from Atlanta to Italy.

I haven’t been this scared in a long time. I’m so scared that my ear is going to hurt on the plane, even though it feels a lot better. I don’t want it to hurt! I suppose I am lucky though that I have the flight from home to Atlanta to find out if it’s going to do anything, and how bad it will be, so I can drug myself up in the Atlanta airport if the need be.

I’ve been praying that it gets better (and it has!). I suppose what I need to do is trust that the Lord will be with me. He will be with me and will heal me if I ask Him. He will heal me and keep me away from pain.

Trust. Truuuust. Trust.

Pray for me.

(EDIT: Since a number of views for this post have come from people searching about ear infections and flying, I’m going to say this here:

Nothing went wrong. My ear popped normally, and there was no pain. Maybe the occasional what felt like more pressure than usual, but that’s about it)

Italy

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this, but on Monday I’ll be flying across the Atlantic to Italy. I’ll be there for about ten days. It’s sort of a school trip. I’ll be going with my old Latin teacher (Old because… I don’t go to school anymore (: ) and some friends and my mother (God give me strength).

I’m a little nervous about the flying bit. I’ve flown plenty of times before. Florida, New York, Washington DC, and some others. But never across a huge ocean where if the plane goes down there’s less chance of survival because the rescue people might not find you, or you could get eaten by sharks. If you survive the crash that is. But I am looking forward to having the experience of taking an eight hour flight.

I’m excited about Italy. I’ll get to see amazing things. I hope to return again in a few years, when I’m on my own there. Or with a couple of other people. Not a big group, and minus the supervisors.

And by the way, the exchange rate is TERRIBLE.

Not sure if I’ll get the chance to post again tomorrow or Monday (Have to be at the airport at 11, and we have other things to do that morning before we can leave too. Airport’s an hour away.) So.. pray for me (:

God Bless.

Forgiveness

Have you ever had a really difficult time asking for forgiveness? I sure have. And I have yet to pinpoint exactly why that is. I guess it depends on the situation.

Maybe we’re so ashamed we don’t want to admit it.
Maybe we’re afraid that we’ll fall into it again.
Maybe we think that we don’t mean it.
Maybe we think that we’re only asking for forgiveness because ________

I don’t know. It’s really a strange feeling. You want it. You need it. But you’re ashamed. You’re afraid.

But God is Great. God can bring you through anything.

Graduation!

It’s official. I am no longer a high schooler. Though I don’t think it has quite sunk in yet.

This morning at about 9:40 a.m. I received my diploma. Well, diploma cover. We have to pick up our diplomas at school (Blech).

But yeah! I am officially a college student. I’m ready ready ready. August 25 is when classes begin. I’m ready!

But first. Italy! June 2 – 11. I know you’ll miss me while I’m gone right?

But for now. I’m off to eat!

Traffic

Driving. I shudder at the thought sometimes. For one, I dislike dealing with the people on the road. For another, it increases my stress level and causes me to act out in ways that I normally wouldn’t.

Yeah yeah I know what you’re saying. Why should an 18 year-old worry about his stress level? What does he know? He doesn’t even have a job! Nor has he taken a college class yet. But nonetheless, I still don’t like having stress. And stress comes in different forms and extremes for different people. I totally just made that up off the top of my head, but it makes sense to me. Stress = not healthy. And driving is the number one way to get me stressed out.

People on the road are just jerks. I try not to be a jerk (though that doesn’t always work). But some people just get on your nerves, and I think they do it on purpose. Like the people who drive thirty mph until you get to a passing area then they speed up to like, 80 so you can’t pass them without possibly killing yourself in the process, then they slow all the way back down. Or the ones that pass you and then slow down a lot. I’m getting angry just thinking about it.

I’ve gotten better about reacting to people. I still have my outbursts, but for the most part I have calmed down. I try to think like the All State man says: Lets treat people more like they’re in our homes, rather than just in our way. It’s true when you think about it. Those people you’re honking at are just like you. Maybe they’re driving home to see their family. They’ll park the car, go in, have a nice supper, and watch some tv. They’re real people.

I think part of the reason we have trouble accepting that is because most of the time, our vehicle is a private getaway. Most of the time we are alone. We are entirely focused on ourselves getting to wherever we need to go. We are in harmony with ourself, and we do not like that harmony being disrupted. When someone next to you burns out, that disrupts your harmony.

For I think the first time, I’m opening up for discussion. If you read this, comment! Don’t make me feel dumb.

Why do you think we tend to be bossier on the road?

Belief

At this moment I feel that it is completely necessary that I announce that I believe in God the Father Almighty. The God of Jacob. The Great I Am.

I believe He had one and only son, Jesus Christ. I believe that Jesus was God in the flesh. I believe He came to earth and died for the sins of the world. I believe that He was slain on a cross, put in a tomb, and on the third day rose from the dead then ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. I believe that through Him I am forgiven for all my sins. I follow Him loyally. I believe that He will one day come again to rescue His people. He will judge everyone, and He will reign forever.

I believe because He has done great things in my life. He has saved me from the darkness. He has led me to do things that I could never have done on my own. He has inspired me. He is my Lord, my Savior, my Rock, my Redeemer. I love Him because He first loved me.

And nothing can change that.

Blogging is Stressful

Blogging is stressful. If you’ve noticed within the past hour and a half or more that my blog has been going crazy with deleted posts and that a comment or two has been deleted, it’s because me, ScribeFire, and WordPress had a fight. A big, big fight which involved uninstalling ScribeFire a couple of times.

It started with ScribeFire. ScribeFire decided somehow that it was going to start scheduling posts about 6 hours in the future. All by itself. I did not want that. I have never scheduled a post. Ever. Never touched ScribeFire’s scheduling stuff. Or WordPress for that matter.

Then I tried to fix said problem on WordPress. WordPress won’t let me unschedule a post. It let me reschedule, sure. But not.. not schedule. Not let it go live right then when I changed it to Published. So I tried to fix ScribeFire. I went in and tried to fix the time stamp. Didn’t work. For a while, it would say posts were published and they wouldn’t even be showing up.

So I finally realized why my stats always show stats a day ahead of me. I had my timezone set wrong. I know, I’m retarded. I go and fix that (Well actually, I thought I fixed it but really I was still off). That started a whole new slew of problems. Now I had posts scheduled before posts that were written before the post before them. AKA: Post B was scheduled 20 minutes before Post A. And I couldn’t get them to fix.

I had to delete the past three posts I made. I copied and pasted them from word into ScribeFire. Guess what? More problems. Spacing and formating, font size and type and face and everything else imaginable. So I had to go through and fix it all. Not a big deal under normal circumstances, but after stressing out earlier.. yeah.

I finally have it working all well again. I hope (and I’m not sure how I did that exactly). This post is about to test that theory. I hope it works. I’m not sure I can handle it not working. !!! It worked! !!!

Aspirations

I aspire to be like God. I want to be just like my savior, Jesus Christ. I want to be a mirror image of Him in every way possible.

Because He loves the whole world. He loves us all so much that He gave His only son so that we may be forgiven of our sins. He is faithful and His love is unconditional and endures forever. He doesn’t care if what race we are. He doesn’t care what we look like. He doesn’t care if one foot is bigger than the
other, or if sometimes when you laugh a lot you snort. He loves us for who we are on the inside. Not what we are on the outside.

God doesn’t criticize us. He doesn’t gossip. He doesn’t hate. He doesn’t complain. He knows what is right and what is wrong every time. He doesn’t make spiteful remarks about people. He doesn’t do any of those bad things because He is God Almighty and is perfect in every sense of the word.

I know I can never be perfect. I know I will mess up, many many many times. I know that I can try to be what He wants me to be. I know that all things are possible through Him who gives me strength. I just wish sometimes that I could be like Him. Make Him so proud of me, and give all of that back to Him. It was for you Lord that I didn’t say mean things about that person today. It was for you Lord that I bit my tongue before I could swear. It was for you Lord that I helped that person onto their feet. It was for you Lord that I wasn’t judgmental. It was for you Lord that I was everything you wanted me to be.

I want to make Him happy.

But I know I don’t have to work for God’s love. He loves me even when I mess up. Even when I don’t act how I should. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to do the right thing. I must try and be godly. Behave in the way Jesus would. I like the What Would Jesus Do idea (I’ve met plenty who don’t. Not sure why. Anyone know?). Before you do something, stop and think. What Would Jesus Do? Would He laugh at that person? Would He judge them just because they look a little different? Would He love them less because they’re not the prettiest person in the world?

I want to be so much more like Him. I patiently wait for the day when I meet Him in heaven and I am free from sin for eternity. I can praise His name all day long. I can rest in His divine glory. His perfection. The only one deserving of all the honor, glory, and power. Praise God Almighty.