Parents…Oie Vey

Well I don’t know how, but I’ve managed to make my mother think that I do drugs.

It started a few days ago.. Saturday I think. I had just finished taking a nice little nap when mom called me into the kitchen for supper. Now, I’m the kind of person that after waking up from a nap is virtually dead to the world. I think it’s my body going into full on sleep mode, and then not being very happy when that is interrupted. (Did you know interrupted has two r’s in it? I didn’t.)

So I stumble into the kitchen and sit down in a chair by the microwave while I wait for her to finish dishing the food (pasta I think it was) from the pan and what not. I rest my head against the microwave.. eyes half closed.. jaw open.. hair going every which way. Mom looks over and gives me a very stern look, and very abruptly asks “Are you doing drugs!?” I responded with “What are you talking about?” and she says “You’re acting strange! I’m going to get you a drug test.” (Of course she didn’t, and isn’t. It was one of those things parents say that they think sound threatening)

“Oh yes mom.” I said “I do drugs. Lots of them. You know.. crack.. weed.. all that good stuff.”

So as if that wasn’t bad and insulting enough, here’s what happened today.

Our family keeps most of our medical drugs and prescriptions in one closet in mom and dad’s bathroom, on a certain shelf. Pretty much everything is there.. Tylenol, allergy stuff, ointments, blah blah blah. So usually when you want some sort of medicine, you go there, because most likely it’s there. Sounds like common sense right? Apparently, only kids who are doing drugs should have that knowledge.

Dad comes up to me and mom and asks her where the Tylenol 3 is. I speak up and say “In the closet..” In a ‘duh’ sort of way. Simultaneously, the two look at me and ask “Why should you know where it is?!” Mom continues to ask if I have been into them, and I ask what a Tylenol 3 is anyway.

No really. That’s the first time I’ve heard of it. I guess it’s like, extra strength Tylenol.

She tells me that that’s where most kids get their drugs, from their parents’ medicine cabinet. I agree again

“Oh yes mom! I do drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. Because I go to church and I’m very active in the youth group.. and I do drugs!”

She glares at me, but that pretty much closes the conversation.

Honestly I’m appalled and insulted. And just plain annoyed because now every time I go to get Tylenol or Aleve or something, they’ll suspect that I’m taking too many or something. Insulted because I thought my parents thought better of me than that. I mean, what reason would I have to do drugs? Blah!